Let it out !

Ok heres the thing ! You cant keep doing this to yourself ! You understand ! .. Its not normal ! Im not going to let you normalise this abuse youve internalised and now hold on to like the dearest thing ever ! Dude ! You gotta stop ! Why do you hate yourself so much ?! We got to talk about this ! You cant fucking do this to me you understand ! You can fool all those motherfuckers, but im right here my man .. theres no escape, I can hear your every thought, your every whisper ! And im not letting you drown in this misery, in this fucking selfhate bullshit youre wallowing in ! You understand me ? .. Yea i hear you .. and im here for you. Just take it easy but you gotta face it ! You gotta face those fucking facts that are so blatantly obvious to everyone else but you. You cant keep lying to yourself anymore! They are laughing at you at this point ! This is mockery !! Heellloo ! Why do you do this to yourself ! You should never ever suppress your voice or neglect your truth just because your afraid of what others think, or if you're even right in the first place, oh you're not even allowed to have an opinion anymore ? .. how dare you for real, who do you think you are ? Really ? After all this work you've put into your growth? Your just going to cancel yourself ? Your gona dim your voice ? Really ? .. And you still defend them ? D  Like its still not enough of an evidence of how fucking traumatized you've actually been! You're going to deny it ? They call you a diva, they bring up stuff from your past after everything you've been through, and then they guiltrip you when you try to make better choices for yourself for once, they blame you for moving away from their toxicity! They mock you in public, these people have no fucking shame nor remorse. And you still look for validation ? You still dont get it ? Wow .. your a fucking dog you understand that right?.. These people have been playing you for the longest time ! You think they are stupid ? You think they don't know what they're doing? Well actually they proabably dont at this point as its been going on since how long now? .. almost 40 years ! wow ... wow ! WoW ! Even Jesus cant help you at this point ! I mean you can pray all you want ! .. but if youre not willing or able to face reality, to face the facts, then sorry but youre going to go down with them no matter how fucking much work youve done with yourself ! Is that what you want ? To play the false narrative, to play along with their denial like you didnt know better, to come into agreement with their toxic behaviour , with their abuse , with their neglect and disrespect, with their demons ! Who is the real loser in that scenario ? Is that what you want ? Does that actually help anyone ? I know its painful as fuck to be involved in something as retarded as this, to see your own parents hate themselves so much when you know they deserve better.. when you absolutely want better for them whether they actually deserve it or not. Down the line,  Can you actually say you loved them if you keep tolerating not only denial of your own truth but also their misbehaviour. Their denial. You cant give all your power away to little children who are unable to put the bottle away that destroys them. Yes youll be casted out, yes youll get the shit, but I mean you already have got the whole fucking nine yards and back and they are still mocking you, disrespecting you, slandering! Nobody gives a shit ! They are all retarded! All their friends who are also in on the Taara religion ! What you expect them to embrace you after you put their bottle under jeapordy ! They are all supporting each other! Their "friends" dont give a flying fuck if your dad drinks himself to death! Theyve seen you suffer ! In fact the more they want him to drink because it is a direct way to make you suffer. They dont give a shit about your dad, they never have and they never will ! And they will all be held accountable for the murder of him ! All of them ! And they will all play clueless, once the word gets out, you already see them scrambling ! Like you can fool cause and effect ! They still dont understand that you and your father are one! You go against your father you go against you ! You go against you , you go against your Father ! But don't explain anything to the retarded ones !